Many of us experienced this. Dude talks shit about you in a derogatory manner and keep insulting you in a subtle way using humor and all you do is just stand there like a potato doing nothing, feeling cocktail of emotions from anger to embarrassment and watching how your social status and respect is getting torched in the matter if not seconds then minutes. If you recognize yourself in this story don’t worry it does not means you’re a loser just that probably you excelled yourself in different parts of life than talking shit back or standing up for yourself and boy trust me when I say that I experienced this situation myself countless times before realizing roots of this kind of behavior. Before we start let’s clarify one thing we’re not talking about friendly banter where you feel offended cuz’ you emotional pussy or someone who deep down wants this, we’re talking when bounds are crossed brightly and vividly as the sun in the sky on a cloudless day and you know you got to do something in return.
Am I breaking your balls here? That’s right no one, not a single person this whole round world owes you respect or to be nice to you. Stop whining if you have been doing that. The world is a wild-west game with social rules and masked personal attacks.
The best thing you can do is get used to being attacked, some people are like this no matter how good of a friend or colleague you’ll try to be to them. Stop wasting your energy on them. What you can do is to talk shit back about them or defuse their attack with humor but don’t be silent. If you show silence in such situation you acknowledge what they are saying to be true and here is the thing no one will tell you this but every time somebody throws rock in your garden and you don’t throw it back psychologically your value as a person is lowered in your social group whether of friends or at your work and that will soon start to show up in your relationships with people you interact. You will start becoming a second option, joke object or someone who gets interrupted when stronger, better and louder people talk. The best thing you can do is talk shit back, don’t be afraid of that person getting mad. The second you throw a rock back he will be shocked to see you push him socially back after he pushed you. Next time he will think twice before attacking you and others will see you as a person who respects himself. As a surprise, I give you 80% chance that you will even become better friends simply because you will begin a process of evening out your social status. Remember! Everything is relative. A king is a king only because peasant comes and bows before him. It’s a life’s play of social status, impressions, and rivalry. If you have the desire to not feel like shit and not be placed low in this ladder you must begin learning this game and at least fight back.
Get this into your head right away. Being a good/nice person is not a profession or quality. It’s a choice and just because you choose to be a good/nice person does not mean that the world will like and respect you. Being (too)nice usually is something weak people do to get pass by, to not get attacked, to stay out of trouble and to stay out of predatory person’s gun sight. In the real world, people don’t say “well, he is below average plumber BUT! a very nice guy! Let’s hire him!”. NO! NO! no! NO! People will hire swearing, sweaty, greasy, disrespectful plumber if they must just to get the job done. They don’t care for his personality, they care for his results. Here is a piece of advice – You be nice to your real friends and family but always stay cautious and ready to fight with the rest of the world, no matter how nice of a person another guy is. In case you don’t feel the need to be alert around friends or people you work with. It means that you are surrounded by weaklings who do not dare in this life to do anything more than take one step towards his wishes, goals, and desires, he just turns around after first misfortune or uses the easy way out. Usually, these people use excessive amounts of alcohol or drugs to escape reality.
If you do not begin exercising. Build muscle, strength, and speed. The bigger your body is (muscle) – the bigger of a threat in this physical world you are.
Somebody under your supervision fucked up his task? Somebody was not careful with your stuff? Took something without your permission? Get mad, talk straight and show that you do not tolerate this sort of behavior and that there will be consequences.
If you don’t feel that they are somebody that you could look up to be, you’re wasting your time by surrounding yourself with people who a weaker than you.
Experiencing a fight in a controlled environment will help build competitive personality, reduce the fear of getting a beating and teach you how to be protector and threat.